ATTENTION: NO SHEEP WERE HURT IN THE MAKING OF THIS POST.
If you are reading this, you or a loved one probably has an issue with sheep hoarding. Don't worry. This is curable and completely natural. My seven-step program took years of research and is kind of guaranteed to make your life different. Don't believe me? Ask our satisfied customers!
If you are reading this, you or a loved one probably has an issue with sheep hoarding. Don't worry. This is curable and completely natural. My seven-step program took years of research and is kind of guaranteed to make your life different. Don't believe me? Ask our satisfied customers!
Ask Wendy!
Ask James!
You could be just like them! Follow the steps below to achieve your DREAMS!
- Step one is to admit you have a sheep hoarding problem. It's okay, you're not alone.
2. Once you have admitted you have a problem, meditate. This may be the most important step in the process. Everyday you must hike up a dangerous mountain path. At the top, build a fire inside a cave and sing a mystical jungle chant. You may eat nothing but berries and dry toast. Any violation of this step may lead to severe consequences.
3. Shave your sheep. Sheep are usually so hoardable because of their soft coats. Once they no longer have such a beautiful layer of fuzz, you may find yourself despising the sheep you once loved to hoard. This is good.
4. Donate their fur to a local animal shelter. If the animal shelter won't take their wool, give them to a person you don't know. You might even make a new friend!
5. Donate your sheep to a local hospital. Although the hospital may be resistant at first, we can kind of guarantee that they will eventually take your sheep in and treat them as family. It never fails!
6. Change your focus of interest to something more healthy, like perhaps a board game, or yoga.
7. Get a pet to keep you company. It should be fuzzy and not to big. Here is a list of animals you may want to consider:
- kitten
- hamster
- velociraptor
- rhinoceros
- puppy
- pirahna
- sheep
If this does not help, I can only say that you are psychologically disturbed. It's okay, this natural and completely curable. For more help, call 1-800-PSYCHOLOGICALLYDISTURBED.
YOU HAVE RECENTLY BECOME A BETTER PERSON. TELL YOUR FRIENDS.
You forgot about the endangered tree octopus. It exists. Google it if you don't believe me.
ReplyDeleteno, no it doesn't. It was createdto prove that you can't beleive everything you read on the internet. But you probably know that. But some people don't, so.
ReplyDelete