How to be AWESOME

So you want to be awesome, huh? Well, in this easy, 7 step program, you can be awesome in as little as 48 years!

Step 1: Establish a radical nickname, like R-Dog, or Minty, or The Deathman, or Cant E. Lope


Step 2: Don't talk to anyone who is below your level of Awesomeness. Instead, look them in the eyes and sigh, then shake your head sadly.

Step 3: Wait approximately 47 years or until everyone who use to laugh at you has forgotten you. Then find their home address, ring the doorbell, offer them a balloon, and yell, "HA! REMEMBER ME? NO BALLOON FOR YOU!" Then rampage their house with a baseball bat and deny everything the police accuse you of.

Step 4: Only hang out with the cool people, like Bono, Elvis, and Tre Cool.

Step 5: Become a rapper or a CIA agent.

Step 6: Everytime you introduce yourself to somebody else crash a pair of cymbals after your nickname to increase the dramatic effect.

Step 7: Always wear sunglasses with mirrors on the other side so that you can see other people's eyes, but they cant see yours.