Hi, my name is Becca. I understand you want to be a genius, but you must understand that a series of difficult tasks awaits you. The climb from stupid to ***GENIUS*** is no bowl of roses.
Don't despair, it's not impossible! You can be like me in no time!* But how? Well, I'll tell you!
*It actually might take some time.
1. Use monumental words in order to confuse homosapiens into inferring that you're smarter than them.
2. Never ever say that you like popular movies or songs. This will create the 'Hey! I'm common...' effect. Are you common? Is that really all you strive for in life? Not anymore.
3. Write in long paragraphs even if you have nothing to say just so that people will guess that you're mind is full of genius ideas even though you're stupid. For instance, you can write an entire paragraphs on how grapefruits are constantly changing the nation with their tart flavors and bittersweet personalities. Or on how P!nk Should dye her skin blue for a contrast effect. Yes friends, long paragraphs always come through.
4. Constantly say that you can't hang out with people because you are too busy doing quadratic equasions to solve the mystery of pi or experiamenting a better cure for rabies or having a dispute over whether verbs are truly the best for complete sentences and for literature in general.
5. Laugh at people for saying "I hate english" or "Math sucks" and go on to explain to them that it's only because you're better than them at it.
6. Come to school really tired one day and say it's because you were up all night curing cancer.
7. Find out the weaknesses of others and use their weaknesses to make yourself look good. Yes, this is mean. Your point?
8. Create an easy program designed to make something that would actually take years look extremely easy and very acheivable. This step is really quite simple because modern society uses magazines, models, movies, whatever you like, to make people feel as if they aren't good enough as somebody else. All you have to do is tell them you can cure their obvioous depression and fix their problems and all they have to do is follow these basic steps, right after buying your book.
Now go look in the mirror...do you see a genius? If you can't see the genius, I suggest you re-read the instructions. Clearly you didn't read it right, but that's okay. You can call 1-800-WISHIWASLIKEBECCA
for more information.
Don't despair, it's not impossible! You can be like me in no time!* But how? Well, I'll tell you!
*It actually might take some time.
1. Use monumental words in order to confuse homosapiens into inferring that you're smarter than them.
2. Never ever say that you like popular movies or songs. This will create the 'Hey! I'm common...' effect. Are you common? Is that really all you strive for in life? Not anymore.
3. Write in long paragraphs even if you have nothing to say just so that people will guess that you're mind is full of genius ideas even though you're stupid. For instance, you can write an entire paragraphs on how grapefruits are constantly changing the nation with their tart flavors and bittersweet personalities. Or on how P!nk Should dye her skin blue for a contrast effect. Yes friends, long paragraphs always come through.
4. Constantly say that you can't hang out with people because you are too busy doing quadratic equasions to solve the mystery of pi or experiamenting a better cure for rabies or having a dispute over whether verbs are truly the best for complete sentences and for literature in general.
5. Laugh at people for saying "I hate english" or "Math sucks" and go on to explain to them that it's only because you're better than them at it.
6. Come to school really tired one day and say it's because you were up all night curing cancer.
7. Find out the weaknesses of others and use their weaknesses to make yourself look good. Yes, this is mean. Your point?
8. Create an easy program designed to make something that would actually take years look extremely easy and very acheivable. This step is really quite simple because modern society uses magazines, models, movies, whatever you like, to make people feel as if they aren't good enough as somebody else. All you have to do is tell them you can cure their obvioous depression and fix their problems and all they have to do is follow these basic steps, right after buying your book.
Now go look in the mirror...do you see a genius? If you can't see the genius, I suggest you re-read the instructions. Clearly you didn't read it right, but that's okay. You can call 1-800-WISHIWASLIKEBECCA
for more information.
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ReplyDeleteP.S. I already tell people i can't hang out because i have to do quadratic equations.
words like Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
ReplyDelete