How to be AWESOME

So you want to be awesome, huh? Well, in this easy, 7 step program, you can be awesome in as little as 48 years!

Step 1: Establish a radical nickname, like R-Dog, or Minty, or The Deathman, or Cant E. Lope


Step 2: Don't talk to anyone who is below your level of Awesomeness. Instead, look them in the eyes and sigh, then shake your head sadly.

Step 3: Wait approximately 47 years or until everyone who use to laugh at you has forgotten you. Then find their home address, ring the doorbell, offer them a balloon, and yell, "HA! REMEMBER ME? NO BALLOON FOR YOU!" Then rampage their house with a baseball bat and deny everything the police accuse you of.

Step 4: Only hang out with the cool people, like Bono, Elvis, and Tre Cool.

Step 5: Become a rapper or a CIA agent.

Step 6: Everytime you introduce yourself to somebody else crash a pair of cymbals after your nickname to increase the dramatic effect.

Step 7: Always wear sunglasses with mirrors on the other side so that you can see other people's eyes, but they cant see yours.

Hard!!!!

Okay, so I haven't been posting as often as I would like to. But seriously. Have you ever tried to write a blog? It's hard work! So, from now on, I'm afraid I am just going to post when I have something really good to post about, because I'm tired of my posts being stupid but frequent. I mean, I think I could have done a bit better than If Horses Were Carnivores. Anyway, my blog being interesting and funny is more important to me than it being updated every day. So I'm sorry. Forgiven? Thanks.

:)

What If Horses Were Carnivores?

My brother told me tahat if horses were carnivores there would be an end to all humanity. And he's right. They are so much bigger than us that they would kill us all and eat us! First, they would escape the barns. Then, they would rampage the cities. Then, they would kill us all and become the most powerful creature in the world. Eventually, they would develop opposable thumbs. They would settle colonies and then have them become states. Create a constitution. Have wars. Create automobiles. Yes, if horses were carnivores, we would not last long.

Comments

I am replying to comments now! So here are a select few comments that I wanted to reply to.

Comment on Life: Moby dick is epic. He can bite peoples legs off.
Reply: Yes. Yes he is.

Comment on List of Words: What's porpskillion
Reply: It's a number thats more than a million but less than infinity.

Comment on Elbow Writing: i sxz ujghhbn 5xcgfvr d mm5a2 JKMkl, .! (I sent you that email!) I SXZDJUHMNXC D, ZGH GHBN XKL,  M (I SUCK AT THIS)
Reply: Why, yes. Yes you do.

Comment on 7 Ways to Make My Blog Super Popular: Do hamster's even have cousin-in-laws?
Reply: Have you ever tried asking one?

I hope you found t hese answers/replys to comments helpful.